Local – Storm Warning: 5

Thinking Type 5: “The Observer”
Orientation: Thinking
Expression: Feeling
Subordinate: own Acting
Seeks: Competence
Short circuits in storm state:
Feeling – Thinking
Acting – Acting

rev storm 5
emphasis in storm state
type 5 sunny
emphasis in sunny state

FT TF AA

With thinking type 5, we now leave the emotionally oriented types and visit the “thinkers”. In storm state, those are the cerebral narcissists. Their childhood distress was lacking security: The development of their identity was threatened. Thinking type 5 is the one who solved this problem by enforcing his thinking (FT). In order to deal with the chaos in his environment, to figure out what’s important an what not and avoiding losing himself in the mess, he withdrew into his head, thought about it and sorted his experiences and feelings. His two other short circuits supported this withdrawal: distancing from feeling (TF) and controlling actions and needs (AA).lolita_ver4_xlgAs soon as this pattern exceeds its function of childhood self-protection and a person gets triggered back into it as an adult, there is storm warning. And if a person is permanently trapped in it, it is considered a personality disorder. In the following, the character Humbert in “Lolita” (1997), played by Jeremy Irons serves as an example of a thinking type 5 with storm warning.

FT

List 5 FT

Thinking type 5 in storm state retreats into his head. He amplifies his thinking, takes a very distanced position and looks at the events “from the outside”. From there, he gathers information which he processes instantly if possible or later if necessary. Although he may seem “there”, although you seem to get some emotional and reactionary feedback from him, this has nothing to do with him as a person. While his soul is sitting silently in his head, actions and emotions are running on autopilot. With his Feeling – Thinking short circuit, he enforces his detachment. He enforces his ability to recognize logical coherence and drawing conclusions in order to tidy up the chaos – this ability was of great help to survive his childhood.

Thus a thinking type 5 with storm warning constantly lives in mental cutback and his only perspective seems to be the retrospective. His conduct of life is lacking his conduct. He allows others to make his decisions and opportunistically takes what he can get along the way without playing a role in the process of life.

This distanced way of life is illustrated by the following scenes. Humbert gets informed by his landlady: she wants to marry him and if he stays, he agrees. Because Humbert is secretly interested in her daughter, he stays and marries. His true thoughts and feelings about his new wife are written down and locked away inside his desk. As she finds the key, his interpersonal double-life is exposed. This flight into a secretive detached mental world is typical for a thinking type 5 with storm warning.

TF

List 5 TF

To support the main short circuit – to remain undisturbed while drawing his conclusions – Humbert distances himself from feeling. This doesn’t necessarily mean he seems robotic. But in storm state, his feelings have nothing to do with him as a person or his values. He hides behind a characterless in-tune mask. Thus, he turn himself into a emotional marionette who doesn’t get it if someone is playing with him on this level. Here, he is totally suggestible and emotionally “survives” from what he can get coincidentally. This short circuit is observable as a fawning dependence which can develop into obsession.

AA

List 5 AA

Humbert controls actions and needs. And because, as a type 5, this short circuit serves a detached way of life, it is expressed mainly in passive forms and is directed inward: he adjusts his own wants according to what fits the environment and aims at getting his hidden needs met somehow in the long run. He “lies with his gut” and acts as if the wants of others were also his own. This is expressed big and small flatteries and sometimes in more dramatic ways in which he is able to instantly adapt his will and anger to changing circumstances.

This is how a thinking type 5 with storm warning functions.

Why is this dangerous to families?
Because children depend on parents who are there for them. A person who functions like this may have lots of theoretical ideas of “a good upbringing”. But it’s impossible to them to emotionally care for their children and foster their autonomy. Instead, they are emotionally dependent on their kids and expect them to supply the security they missed in their own family. Like this they reverse the familial chain of providence and thus damage their children’s psyche.

Why is this unsatisfactory in relationships?
For the same reasons. Although as an adult, one is not as dependent on the partner as a child is but the mutual happiness relies on the functionality of both. How can one relate to someone who lives in a secretive mental refuge? To someone who detaches emotionally and makes themselves dependent? Someone whose wants are not their own but adapt to the surroundings like a chameleon-like war tactic? It is possible. But it’s unsatisfactory.

What helps?
For Families: Family-Systems Therapy
For Couples: Couples Therapy
This description with the aid of the enneagram is not meant to serve diagnostically. This should by done by professionals alone. And there is also no key with which the types of the enneagram can be translated to the DSM definitions. At best, some hints can be made in which directions to seek: Dependent Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Codependency.

Sunny greetings


All clips shown in this post are quotations from the movie “Lolita” (1997) and are used for the purpose of illustration only. The copyrights for this movie and its film poster belong to: Pathé, The Samuel Goldwyn Company

Local – Storm Warning: 5

Local – Storm Warning: 4

Feeling Type 4: “The Individualist”
Orientation: Feeling
Expression: Thinking
Subordinate: own Acting
Seeks: Authenticity
Short circuits in storm state:
Acting – Feeling
Thinking – Thinking

type 4 sunny
emphasis in sunny state
rev storm 4
emphasis in storm state

AF FA TT

Feeling type 4 is the third one who’s childhood distress was emotional coldness. But unlike the others, their solution was to actively take control of the realm of feeling (AF). They dominated their emotions. To keep this self-supply with emotional warmth in place, their two secondary short circuits came into play: the enforcement of their own will (FA) and the distancing from facts and objectivity (TT). Whenever needed, the psyche of the little child shut down in this manner and thus survived.

eternal sunshine posterWhenever this pattern exceeds its function of childhood self-protection and a person gets triggered back into it as an adult, there is storm warning. And if the person is permanently trapped in it, it is considered a personality disorder. As an example of a feeling type 3 with storm warning, we’ll take a look at the character Clementine in “Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” (2004), brilliantly played by Kate Winslet.

AF

List 4 AF

With his A- short circuit, feeling type 4 in storm state is one of the “control addicted self supporters”. These are the ones who establish domination over the given function in order to supply themselves with it. With feeling type 4 it’s the realm of emotions – it’s about the self-supply with warmth. The person gives themselves the favorable “being seen” which they lacked in childhood.

In doing so, they not only mirror themselves but also pushes others into being mirrors to. magical mirrors, which only mirror pleasant things at all times. Dependent on this constant positive feedback they compulsively control how others see them. They have to be remarkably unique and everyone around them has to bee charmed and seduced into reacting positively to this uniqueness. Sometimes this is done passive and indirectly, at other times through emotional power-play, focused at quickly deepening the felt connection of the “mirror”.

If they succeed, the addiction is satisfied and except for a little boredom, everything’s fine. But what if there is no feedback? Or even a negative one? At this point, the two other short circuits instantly come to the rescue.

FA

List 4 FA

The short circuit Feeling – Acting causes the boost of conflict. The identification with their own will and it’s enforcement. And because this short circuit serves the emotional self supply, it’s expressed in form of provocations and emotional drama. In fights that are focused on achieving a positively felt self-image as their end game. Therefore, feeling type 4 becomes a true drama queen when in stormy. Because this dominant demeanor seems to be coming out of nowhere, it’s often surprising and irritating to the people around them.

The triggering reason for it is insufficient positive mirroring. The logic behind it: “if you don’t want to be my magic mirror, i will emotionally push you into being wrong and supply myself with the good feeling in relation to you which i depend on”.

TT

List 4 TT

The second short circuit which activates in case of lacking mirroring is Thinking – Thinking. The distancing from reality, logic and coherence. At this level, there are no consistent actions or statements. Also this short circuit serves the self-supply with emotional warmth and a positive self-image and expresses as a retreat into fantasy. A fantasy, in which the self-image feels good and only good. Observed from the outside, this retreat sometimes looks exaggeratedly childlike and cheerful, sometimes very melancholic:

Distancing from thinking has a side effect – loss of the sense of identity, the feeling for “i-am-me and you-are-you”. These boundaries collapse. This side effect leads to depressive episodes, in which the person feels like they are falling apart. Also now, there has to be someone who cures this negative feeling by his mirroring from the outside. Someone who takes the pieces of the broken self-image and puzzles them together again. Flawlessly.

This is how a feeling type 4 with storm warning functions.

Why is this dangerous to families?
Because children depend on parents who are there for them. People who function like this, may be very emotionally present, but not for their children. Instead, they do anything to transform them into disappearing, dishonest people who only “mirror” good things. And because they live in ever-changing, self-idealizing dream worlds, they fail at supplying the stability which the child needs for its healthy development.

Why is this unsatisfactory in relationships?
For the same reasons. Although as an adult, one is not as dependent on the partner as a child is but the mutual happiness relies on the functionality of both. How can one relate to someone who’s emotionality is only oriented on receiving constant idealizing attention? To someone who gets shockingly aggressive whenever there’s a stop in this flow? Someone who spends most of his time with you in inaccessible dreamworlds? It is possible. But it’s unsatisfactory.

What helps?
For Families: Family-Systems Therapy
For Couples: Couples Therapy
This description with the aid of the enneagram is not meant to serve diagnostically. This should by done by professionals alone. And there is also no key with which the types of the enneagram can be translated to the DSM definitions. At best, some hints can be made in which directions to seek: Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Sunny greetings


All clips shown in this post are quotations from the movie “Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” (2004) and are used for the purpose of illustration only. The copyrights for this movie and its film poster belong to: Focus Features

Local – Storm Warning: 4

Local – Strom Warning: 2

Feeling Type 2: “The Helper”
Orientation: Feeling
Expression: Acting
Subordinate: own Thinking
Seeks: Appreciation
Short circuits in storm state:
Feeling – Feeling
Thinking – Acting

type 2 sunny
emphasis in sunny state
rev storm 2
emphasis in storm state

FF AT TA

The childhood distress of a feeling type 2 was coldness. The supply of emotional warmth was not secured. The childhood problem was on the emotional level. Because he was not able to solve this problem by communicating with his parents “outside” of himself, he had to deal with it internally. And he had three possibilities: Loving the own feeling (FF), to distance himself from his own feelings (TF) or to control and dominate, to actively alter his feelings (AF). Feeling type 2 is the one who solved it in the first way.

He “loved” the feelings, amplified them, short circuited the feeling energy with itself. The other psychological functions, thinking and acting connected with each other – AT: he controlled the thinking  and – TA: distanced himself from his actions. Whenever necessary, he shut down in this manner and thus secured his survival.

Patch-Adams-1998-movie-poster1
As soon as this pattern exceeds its function of self-protection in childhood and a person gets triggered back into it as an adult, there is storm warning. And if the person is permanently trapped in it, it is considered a personality disorder. As an example of a feeling type 2 with storm warning, let’s take a look at the main character in “Patch Adams” (1998), played by Robin Williams.

FF

List 2 FF

Hunter “Patch” Adams is focused on the emotional world, identifies with his role as the one who is tuned to the feelings of the other person, brings them out, amplifies them, appreciates them and therefore receives appreciation. Whenever he does this, his own problems fade away. He distracts himself from his own and the people at the mental hospital from their own illnesses. As long as he can be this emotional patch, he does not feel the reason for his own stay at the hospital – his suicidality. It’s his drug. If he gets it, he gets a manic, self-aggrandising pride-rush. if he lacks it, he gets depressed. In order to get it, he needs sick and needy people, because without them, there’s no need for a patch.

AT

List 2 AT

The thinking, the factual level gets flexibly adapted to his addiction to emotional appreciation. in the following scene, Patch is at the university and does his study of medicine which took the place of his own psychotherapy.

Patch lectures his fellow student: “The point is: if you wanna become a doctor, you have to learn to treat the patient as well as the disease, that’s why we have to dive into people – wade into the sea of humanity, Truman.”. Here, he just humbly redefines the purpose of clinical medicine. And replaces it’s objective with one that enables him to get his “kick” as a “doctor”. In the movie he makes many similar statements. To make the point about the flexible factual level (colloquially: bullshitting), let’s take a quick look at this one:

Doctors treat diseases. That’s their job. If they go beyond that, they cross personal boundaries. If someone wants to be “treated” as a person, he visits a psychotherapist. amongst other things because he knows, that a psychotherapist has the needed competence and knows well about intimate boundaries in a therapeutical context. What patch does, is neither treating diseases nor treating “people”. He temporarily distracts them by connecting with them and make them laugh. The ability to emotionally vibe with a person is a valuable one. And is very important on the level of intimate friendships. But that’s something different than the corner stone of clinical medicine.

Patch blends these levels. Because he is addicted to distract himself from his own problems. And therefore needs a socially acceptable reason for his behavior.

Not only when justifying his actions does he make use of a freely adaptable thinking. It also serves in the acquisition of his “drug”. It’s emotional opportunism: Inner values, for which he seems to stand as a person, are changed in the blink of an eye and adapted to the environment. These values can be anything. In this case, the emulated value is “eating cow”.

TA

List 2 TA

Patch distances himself from his actions, denies responsibility. In the following scene, patch is confronted by his fellow student who now works for him in a non-approved hospital. He disagrees with Patch’s behavior of just leaving the patients after an employee, who also was Patch’s girlfriend was killed by a mentally ill patient as she visited him in his house.

Events, that were in Patch’s responsibility, are projected onto the evil nature of people and “god’s creation”. instead of taking responsibility, reconsider the concept and caring for his patients, he flees into the next creative “patch”-opportunity at the medical university. There, he gets applause and appreciation.

That’s how a type 2 with storm warning functions.

Why is this dangerous to families?
Because children depend on parents who are there. A person who functions like this, is not really there but restlessly on their hunt for the next “fix”. One cannot know, who they really are because their inner values change from environment to environment. Children need stability. And they certainly need parents who are able to recognize their responsibility.

Why is this unsatisfactory in relationships?
For the same reasons. Although as an adult, one is not as dependent on the partner as a child is but the mutual happiness relies on the functionality of both. How can one relate to someone who is never really “there”? To someone whose inner values you cannot get to know? Someone who doesn’t take responsibility for his actions but instead projects onto everyone and everything? It is possible. But it’s unsatisfactory.

What helps?
For Families: Family-Systems Therapy
For Couples: Couples Therapy

This description with the aid of the enneagram is not meant to serve diagnostically. This should by done by professionals alone. And there is also no key with which the types of the enneagram can be translated to the DSM definitions. At best, some hints can be made in which directions to seek: Bipolar Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, Codependency, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

Sunny greetings


All clips shown in this post are quotations from the movie “Patch Adams” and are used for the purpose of illustration only. The copyrights for this movie and its film poster belong to: Universal Pictures (ZEFR) CPR for Diaphana

Local – Strom Warning: 2

The Strom-Data

dorothy sonden

1: AA TF FT
2: FF AT TA
3: TF FT AA
4: AF FA TT
5: FT TF AA
6: TT FA AF
7: AT TA FF
8: FA AF TT
9: TA AT FF

This is what the storm-data look like in raw version.

What do the letters and numbers mean?

They are inner short-circuits of the functions Thinking, Feeling and Acting. In “sunny” state, these functions are not short-circuited. Neither with themselves nor with one another. But serve to connect the inner world with the outer, serve to communicate. They flow.

All functions have a specific relational quality:

Feeling: towards one another, vibing, amplifying, conscious of emotional states
Thinking: distancing from one another, differentiating, objective, conscious of boundaries, facts and identity
Acting: against one another, actively changing, cause-and-effect, conscious of responsibility and consequences

Every function is of equal importance in functional relationships and families.

In a sunny state, the “inner observer” is in charge of the functions. It’s the part of the psyche that distinguishes humans from animals: his consciousness. This inner observer sees the other person and their emotional state as well as their own through his feeling function. He recognizes and acknowledges boundaries, sees facts, sees what he knows and what not through his thinking function. and he sees the consequences of his actions and thereby his responsibility through his acting function. He decides and acts out of this state of consciousness.

But the psyche can – in order to protect itself – wire differently. Every type of the enneagram is based on  a specific childhood distress, which it had to protect itself from.

The numbers are attributed to the enneagram Types:
For Acting Types 8, 9 and 1 the childhood distress was a threatened autonomy.
For Feeling Types 2, 3 and 4 it was lacking emotional warmth.
And for Thinking Types 5, 6 and 7 it was missing security.

As a child, every person was inherently inferior. With a normal use of the functions, one could not solve childhood problems externally because one was lacking the needed power. So the Psyche protected itself internally. By choosing one of 9 possibilities to shut down and short-circuit the functions. Like this, the soul survived. The problem was temporarily solved and the functions remained. They didn’t die away because they remained in use. Basically a very intelligent protection mechanism of the psyche. But as necessary it was in childhood, as problematic it gets if one gets triggered back into it as an adult. And even more problematic if one gets permanently trapped in it – which would be a personality disorder.

Marked red are the primary short-circuits. These are the ones with which the psyche internally coped with the childhood distress in the first place. The two secondary short-circuits are a consequence of the first one and served as its support.

Examples:

1: AA TF FT

For Acting Type 1, the childhood distress war threatened autonomy. So the childhood problem was an issue on the acting level. Because it could not be solved by communicating externally, it had to be coped with internally in one of three possible ways: To love and amplify his own acting (FA), to distance himself from his acting (TA) or to alter, control and dominate his own acting (AA). Acting Type 1 is the one who solved the problem in the latter way: he “handled” his actions, short-circuited the action energy with itself. The remaining functions connected with one another to support this strategy: he distanced himself from his emotions (TF) and amplified his thinking (FT).

2: FF HD DH

The childhood distress of a feeling type 2 was coldness. The supply of emotional warmth was not secured. So his childhood problem was on the emotional level. Because he was not able to solve this problem by communicating with his parents outside of himself, he had to deal with it internally. And he had three possibilities: Loving the own feeling (FF), to distance himself from his own feelings (TF) or to control and dominate, to actively alter his feelings (AF). Feeling type 2 is the one who solved it in the first way. He “loved” the feelings, amplified them, short circuited the feeling energy with itself. The other psychological functions, thinking and acting connected with each other: he controlled the thinking (AT) and distanced himself from his actions (TA).

3: TF FT AA

Also for Feeling Type 3 the childhood distress was emotional coldness. but different from Type 2, he solved the problem by distancing himself from his emotions (TF) as his primary protection. Further, he amplified and identified with his thinking (FT) and dominated his actions (AA).

And so forth…

Sunny greetings

The Strom-Data

Twister

When i was little, i loved this movie. The storms, the mood, the tension. To watch it again from an adult perspective was fantastic.

Twister-1996_blog

This is no movie review and the blog no cinema-site. But twister suits perfectly to illustrate what the blog is.

At the beginning of the film, the main character witnesses as a little girl, how her dad is sucked up in a tornado as he tries to protect his family from the storm. As an adult, the girl has become an obsessed woman. Obsessed with tornadoes. Together with a small team of crazy people, she hunts twisters across the country risking her life until she reaches her goal: to release hundreds of small probes into a tornado which for the first time in history provide data from the inside of a twister and thus enable a life saving early warning system.

The blog is an early warning system. Here, I publish my collected data.

But they are not about literal storms. The blog is about the tornadoes of psychological disorders that can cause a lot of damage to families and relationships.

As someone who has spent some time inside the funnel of such a tornado in his youth and later as an obsessed hunter, i’ve collected many data over many years. Data that differ from the objectively observing psychology by the perspective from which they were collected.

But as the main character in Twister states at the ending: “i think i’ve seen enough”, i’ve seen enough too. And i won’t take you as a reader back to the storms of my past. I don’t go back myself either. The data is collected, the purpose of the “hunt” fulfilled.

Now, I’m enjoying the sunny life outside of the storms. And enjoy the positive legacy of my past. A useful legacy.

And i’m happy to share it with you!

Sunny greetings


The descriptions are not meant to serve for any kind of diagnosis. This should be done by professionals only. Goal Of the blog is to impart enough knowledge that one can spot the emerging of serious “psychological storms” in relationships and families life before it gets too windy.

The copyrights of the Twister movie poster and the used “Dorothy” image belong to: Warner Bros. Pictures

Twister